We are in the middle of “16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence” with plenty of activities in the settlements to promote awareness. “16 Days” is observed around the world every year, but like other International holidays and observances, not so much in the United States. A great deal of focus is about Sexual Gender Based Violence (SGBV) including forced early child marriage, rape, and sexual harassment. Other forms of GBV include economic and psychological violence. From what I have observed going on state-side, maybe this International observance should get more publicity.
I have gone to a few trainings of “Role Model Men and Boys”. The participants are selected by their local communities and usually chosen because they already have volunteered in various capacities and have good reputations. I talk a little bit about harassment and parenting. One of my favorite and most effective exercises from the trainings begins by dividing into two groups. The first group makes a list of all the activities of the wife in a normal day, while the second group documents the typical day of the husband.
Man’s list:
Wake at 6:30 a.m.
Brush teeth and bathe (water prepared by wife)
Eat porridge (cooked by wife)
Slash compound (often done by wife)
Go to the field and dig
Move animals to pasture (often delegated to children)
Take shower
Wait for Lunch
Perhaps more field or animal work (rarely)
Spend afternoon at the market center (often drinking alcohol)
Come home for supper
Shower
Sleep
Woman’s list:
Wake at 6 a.m. while man sleeps
Fetch water (or done at night)
Sweep compound
Set fire
Boil water for man’s bath, tea, and washing utensils
Prepare tea and porridge for family breakfast
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Send children or accompany them to school
Clean house and mattresses
Work in the garden/field
Wash clothes (not daily)
Come back from the field, gathering greens and firewood
Prepare lunch
Wash dishes and utensils
Bathe
Go to market or take children to health center
Prepare supper
Prepare water for bathing children and (sometimes again) husband’s bath
Provide time for “family discussion” or sex with husband
After their training the men will try to undertake changes within their own households such as taking on more of their wife’s chores, letting her share in decision making, or spending quality time with the children. After a few months, CARE will assist these men as they reach out and engage ten other men targeted in their community. It is not unusual for the neighbors to speculate their local Role Model Man has been “bewitched” but theoretically they should notice a happier family.